Many years ago, I realized I wasn’t happy in my life. On paper, things were fine — I had a good job, stability, and a clear career path. But something inside me felt flat. I started thinking about leaving, exploring job postings, and even interviewing with some great companies.

At the time, I was part of a mentorship program with my current employer. My mentor noticed what I was feeling before I ever said it out loud. He asked me to do a simple but powerful exercise: identify my intrinsic motivations — the things that naturally give me energy, fulfillment, and meaning.

Once I had written them down, he asked me to take an honest look at how both my personal and professional life supported or blocked those motivations. The results were eye-opening. I immediately saw that my unhappiness wasn’t because of my company, or even my job. It was because I had stopped connecting my work to the things that truly motivated me.

That exercise changed everything. I didn’t need to quit my job — I needed to reconnect to it. I began making subtle but intentional changes in how I approached my work, aligning my efforts with what energized me. Over time, the same job started to feel completely different. My role hadn’t changed, but I had — and that made all the difference.

The Difference Between External and Intrinsic Motivation

We’re all familiar with external motivation — paychecks, recognition, promotions, or praise. These things matter, but they’re short-term. They create bursts of energy that fade as quickly as they arrive.

Intrinsic motivation, however, is the quiet current that keeps us moving when no one’s watching. It’s the satisfaction that comes from acting in alignment with our values — when what we do reflects who we are.

Happiness doesn’t come from success. It comes from alignment — when what we do each day matches what matters most to us.

The Psychology Behind It

Psychologists have long studied why some people remain engaged and fulfilled even when work is difficult, while others burn out despite success. The answer often lies in self-determination theory, which describes three psychological needs that fuel intrinsic motivation:

• Autonomy – the need to feel in control of our choices and direction.
• Mastery – the drive to grow, learn, and get better at something meaningful.
• Purpose – the desire to connect our efforts to something larger than ourselves.

When these needs are met, motivation becomes natural and self-renewing. But when they’re not, we unconsciously search for substitutes — external rewards that mimic what’s missing.

We seek recognition not because we’re vain, but because it validates our sense of purpose — proof that what we do matters. We chase promotions not only for the title, but for autonomy — the ability to make choices and shape direction. We push for higher pay because money buys freedom — the space to pursue what we truly value. We overcommit to projects because progress can feel like competence, even when the work itself isn’t meaningful. We seek constant feedback because it gives a fleeting sense of mastery, even if we’re not growing in depth.

These are not flaws; they’re signals. Each one points back to a deeper psychological need — often rooted in our values. When we lose connection to those values, external motivators take over. A promotion might give temporary autonomy, but if the work conflicts with your integrity, you’ll eventually disengage. Recognition might feel validating, but if it comes from people whose respect you don’t value, it will ring hollow.

Fulfillment doesn’t come from what we achieve; it comes from how our achievements reflect what we believe.

Examples of Intrinsic, Values-Based Motivations

Your intrinsic motivations are deeply tied to your personal values — the inner compass that guides how you define success and meaning. They aren’t tasks or skills; they’re beliefs about what makes life worth living.

• Integrity: Living honestly and aligning actions with principles.
• Service: Helping others and making a meaningful contribution.
• Faith or Spirituality: Following a higher purpose or calling.
• Growth: Becoming a better version of yourself over time.
• Compassion: Leading with empathy and understanding.
• Responsibility: Doing what’s right and owning your impact.
• Creativity: Expressing ideas and solving problems imaginatively.
• Freedom: Valuing independence over your time and choices.
• Stability: Prioritizing security and peace of mind.
• Courage: Acting in alignment with beliefs despite fear.
• Honesty: Being authentic — saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
• Justice or Fairness: Standing for equality and doing right by others.
• Gratitude: Recognizing goodness and practicing contentment.
• Excellence: Doing your best because it reflects who you are.
• Family or Relationships: Caring for loved ones and building strong connections.

These aren’t abstract ideals — they’re the things that make work and life feel meaningful. When your daily actions reflect your values, motivation becomes effortless. When they don’t, energy leaks out of your day no matter how “successful” you appear.

A Personal Shift

That mentoring exercise helped me reconnect to the deeper “why” behind my work. I started paying attention to what gave me energy and what drained it.

Instead of treating my tasks as obligations, I reframed them around meaning. When I prepared a client session, I focused on how it could spark confidence or clarity for the person on the other side. When I wrote proposals, I tied each line to how it could make a real impact for their business or team.

Those small shifts didn’t change what I was doing — they changed why I was doing it. And that changed everything.

I realized that fulfillment doesn’t come from swapping environments or chasing titles. It comes from realignment — from connecting your daily actions to what you value most.

The Cost of Ignoring Intrinsic Motivation

When we lose touch with intrinsic motivation, life can start to feel mechanical. We wake up, complete tasks, check boxes — but the work feels hollow. We perform for rewards instead of meaning, and when the rewards stop, so does the drive.

Over time, that kind of existence leads to burnout. Not because the work itself is unbearable, but because we’re working without emotional oxygen. The deeper needs — autonomy, mastery, and purpose — are starving.

Most people don’t lose motivation because they’re lazy; they lose it because they’ve been running on borrowed energy — chasing rewards that never address what’s actually missing.

Reconnecting with Intrinsic Motivation

1. Pause the autopilot. Take 30 minutes to reflect: when do you feel most alive or proud of what you’re doing? What are you doing in those moments?
2. Notice the patterns. Identify the values behind those moments — compassion, courage, creativity, service, or faith. These are your drivers.
3. Redefine your current work. Look at your daily responsibilities and reframe them in light of those values. How can each one align more closely with what you believe in?
4. Uncover false rewards. Ask yourself: what am I chasing that doesn’t actually fulfill me? Recognition? Approval? Comfort? Sometimes, the fastest way to reconnect with meaning is to stop pursuing what doesn’t matter.
5. Integrate personal and professional. You are one person, not two. The values that define you at home should guide you at work too. Alignment begins when you bring your whole self.

Practical Exercise: The 3-Layer Why

Grab a notebook and choose one goal or project you’re working on right now. Then ask yourself “why” three times in a row.

• Why am I doing this?
• Why does that matter?
• Why does that matter to me personally?

Somewhere around the third “why,” you’ll uncover the truth — the internal value that sits beneath all the surface goals. That’s the place your energy comes from. That’s where motivation stops needing to be forced.

Closing Reflection

That mentorship exercise years ago changed more than my job satisfaction — it changed how I think about growth. It taught me that motivation doesn’t come from the outside world; it grows from the inside when you understand what truly drives you.

When you reconnect your daily work to your deepest values, everything changes. You stop chasing energy and start creating it.

The best version of you doesn’t need louder rewards or bigger goals. It just needs alignment — and the courage to keep choosing what matters most.